What now?


Firstly, we are so sorry for your loss. We've been in your shoes & want to provided what has helped us grieve the loss of our son, Bastion. Many of these link to articles that Autumn had written while grieving, if you'd like to read more.


how to cope


This is going to be quite different for everyone. There are the 5 stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Which is just a basis point, not a tell-all. For me (Brandon), it came in the form of; shock, sadness, confusion/anger (why me?), shopping, donating, depression, and finally acceptance.

It was really important for us, as a couple, to talk with each other. If you aren't able to communicate your thoughts with your significant other, try talking with a parent, sibling, friend, or find a Facebook group. If you're still having trouble finding someone to talk to, there are plenty of books and videos made for this situation.

A therapist is highly beneficial. This helped us greatly in our first months without him.

I'd like to add a bit more of coping mechanisms we used:
Retail Therapy - Boy did we shop. I set out to find something I could wear with Bastion's ashes. I found an Etsy shop that made a bracelet with my son's name engraved. We bought a weighted teddy bear, a shadow box, bracelets, beads to make bracelets, picture frames, the list goes on. Maybe this is considered unhealthy, but all of it made us feel better. At the very least, get a teddy bear to cuddle with (even better if you already had one ready for your baby). I can't tell you how much this helped.

Donating - This was and still is a coping mechanism for us. We searched for charities to donate to, but had a hard time finding one that fit what we were looking for. We created Still Loved for this reason.

• Depression
It is so important to get help if you are experiencing depression.
Please, if you have suicidal thoughts, seek help! Suicide hotline: 800-273-8255
Easy therapy access: BetterHelp, TalkSpace, or Online Counseling

If you still aren't sure what therapist to choose, Hallie Scott has worked with bereaved parents for the last 10 years and may be right for you.

Creating memories at the hospital


If you're at the hospital, you may feel like you have no idea what to do. We don't want you to have regrets, so linked below will be a list of things to do with your stillborn or angel baby. Cherish any time you have. I don't think there will ever be a time where thinking of our stay in the hospital won't make me cry. I held him, talked to him, sang songs, showed him videos, and napped near him. But these are our only memories with him, outside of pregnancy.

Explaining your loss


Telling family and friends about your tragedy is difficult. Some people won't know what to say and some wont say anything at all. You have enough going on, don't worry about making others feel good or special. It's important to take care of yourself and your immediate family. The hardest part for us was telling our 2 year old -- "We thought we were giving our daughter the ultimate gift... a baby brother. Instead we set her up for the biggest let down of our lives."

sign up for our birthday card


We send parents handmade cards, so they know someone is thinking about their little one.

Why do we send birthday cards?


Often times, family and friends don't know what to do or say when you lose a loved one, even more-so stillborn child. During the first few months, you'll hopefully have a ton of support, but this typically stops. A year later when it's your child's birthday (or angelversary) bereaved parents may not hear anything from family or friends.

how much does it cost?


Birthday cards for your angel baby are FREE. We rely on donations to provide this service.

We have two types of cards we send out.
1. For the first year, we send a personalized / handmade birthday card. These cost us ~$5 to create and send.
2. For all subsequent birthdays, we'll still send out a card to honor your little one, but they wont be handmade. These cost ~$2.

How do i sign up?


It's simple, just fill out a form and we'll do the rest. Be sure to accurately fill out all of the information so you get the birthday card to the right place & on time.

how can I stop receiving cards OR UPDATE MY ADDRESS?


Send us an email at SBSLFoundation@gmail.com to opt out of this service or to update your address.

donate & help others


While Still Loved Foundation is a charity, it's not my intention to force anyone to give to us. When we lost our baby boy, we did our best to turn our grief into something positive. We raised over $5k in 4 days to purchase a CuddleCot for a local hospital.


donate for a cuddlecot in your baby's name


CuddleCots cost a little over $3k
For every $1k+ donated specifically towards a CuddleCot, we'll have your baby's name engraved on a plaque to be placed on it.

Donate your birthday on facebook - NOT AVAILABLE YET


Facebook has an option on your birthday to donate to a non-profit. It'll be broadcasted to all of your friends that you are raising money for that cause. Still Loved isn't available yet as a FB donation option, but there are plenty of other charities you can choose from.

Educate yourself and others


After you go through a tragedy like this, you find out that it is more common than you previously realized. Could your doctors have told you anything to help prevent this? Did they express to you that kicks counting can be a matter of life or death?

It is important to know that- this is in NO WAY your fault.

As you learn more about your situation, don't be afraid to share the information with friends and family. Hopefully they never have to go through the same experience. #BreakTheSilence

Other non-profits


Butterfly Baskets


text / website

Avery's Garden


text / website

Miscarriage Matters Inc


Miscarriage Matters Inc. is a 501(c)3 recognized charitable organization, offering global support to Mothers and Fathers devastated by Miscarriage or Stillbirth through programs that educate the public, inspire healing through service to others, and empower the hurting.

You can buy their book on Amazon

www.mymiscarriagematters.org

Melody's promise


They started this Foundation in their daughter's honor. Their goal is to provide support to families that had a living child during the time of their loss. This will be done through support boxes and they want to add play dates and pen pals at a later date.

https://www.facebook.com/MelodysPromiseboxes/

Baby Loss diary (blog)


The Baby Loss Diary is a place where moms and dads can go to relate to each other. The goal of this blog is to show bereaved parents and family members how other parents got through this tragedy. Hopefully, the Baby Loss Diary can help show others the mind of a loss parent trying to navigate life after a loss

www.thebabylossdiary.com

recommended urns


The Candle Urn


BEAUTIFUL | DISCREET | PERSONAL | CONTEMPORARY | UNFORGETTABLE
Designing personal, discreet, uplifting candle urns that aim to bring peace, comfort and connection to families.
Helping to embrace a continuing bond with your loved one by unlocking your individual scent memories.

thecandleurn.co.uk

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Recommended books


Empty cradle, broken heart


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Buy on Amazon

It's OK That You're Not OK



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Buy on Amazon

Hope beyond an empty cradle



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Buy on Amazon

holding on to love after you've lost a baby



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Buy on Amazon

you are not alone



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Buy on Amazon

the baby loss guide



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Buy on Amazon

loved baby: 31 devotions



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Buy on Amazon

i love you still



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Buy on Amazon

grieving the child I never knew



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Buy on Amazon

almost a mother



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Buy on Amazon

no matter how small



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Buy on Amazon

facebook groups


Grief Support: Remembering Loved Ones


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stillbirth and infant loss support group


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TTC After Miscarriage & Loss


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Instagram accounts


@stilllovedfoundation


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@noelprenatalguardians


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@thenashfoundation


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@birthtimeanonymous


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Memorial Gifts


Birth Month Flower Necklace



Buy on Etsy

Actual Baby Footprint Necklace



Buy on Etsy

Casts of babies’ hands and feet



Buy on Etsy

Engraved Handprint Wooden Ornament



Buy on Etsy

Newborn Footprints Keepsake



Buy on Etsy

JazmynsCandyShop



Buy on Etsy

Always In Our Hearts Sympathy Gift



Buy on Etsy

Parents & Baby customizable art



Buy on Etsy

Baby hand and feet casting



Buy on Etsy

Baby Footprints Wooden Ornament



Buy on Etsy

TheGoodGraceCo



Buy on Etsy